Varian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2020-03-11 06:06 pm
droptheious) wrote2020-03-11 06:06 pm
Playlist
I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart
And all I want is to trust you
Show me how to lay my sword down
For long enough to let you through
And all I want is to trust you
Show me how to lay my sword down
For long enough to let you through
The minute you think you know you got it
Is the minute you know it's gone for good
The second you pause his claws are on it
The tiger inside will eat the child
Is the minute you know it's gone for good
The second you pause his claws are on it
The tiger inside will eat the child
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours
But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined
But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined
You can see it in my eyes
A child's spark light up the night
Constant search for approval, suffocated by refusal
Devouring my skull but never feeling full
A child's spark light up the night
Constant search for approval, suffocated by refusal
Devouring my skull but never feeling full
Oh I'm like a kid who just won't let it go
Twisting and turning the colors in rows
I'm so intent to find out what it is
This is my Rubik's cube
I know I will figure it out
Twisting and turning the colors in rows
I'm so intent to find out what it is
This is my Rubik's cube
I know I will figure it out
Oh, they turn their heads, embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one missed step, one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one missed step, one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Look at me powerless and holding my breath
Trying hard to repress what scared him to death
It was not that easy to be his type of man
To breathe freely was not in his plan
And the best part of me
Is what he wouldn't see
Trying hard to repress what scared him to death
It was not that easy to be his type of man
To breathe freely was not in his plan
And the best part of me
Is what he wouldn't see
Tremble little lion man
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Joined at the hip; pain, hunger and I
Leave our gift to the world 'neath the phosphorous sky
A labour of love is the truest of all
But will I be forsaken after the fall?
Leave our gift to the world 'neath the phosphorous sky
A labour of love is the truest of all
But will I be forsaken after the fall?
'Cause inner demons don't play well with angels
They cheat and lie and steal and break and bruise
Angels please protect me from these rebels
This is a battle I don't want to lose
They cheat and lie and steal and break and bruise
Angels please protect me from these rebels
This is a battle I don't want to lose
Erase this monster I've become
Forgive me for all the damage done
It's not over
Say it's not over
I'm begging for mercy
I'm only the monster you made me
Forgive me for all the damage done
It's not over
Say it's not over
I'm begging for mercy
I'm only the monster you made me
I paced around for hours on empty
I jumped at the slightest of sounds
And I couldn't stand the person inside me
I turned all the mirrors around
I jumped at the slightest of sounds
And I couldn't stand the person inside me
I turned all the mirrors around
Okay, I agree
That I've been one rotten kid
Some son, some pride and some joy
But I'll get over these lousin' up
Messin' up, screwin' up times
That I've been one rotten kid
Some son, some pride and some joy
But I'll get over these lousin' up
Messin' up, screwin' up times
I have to stay alive
To fix what I've done
Save the world from myself
And bring back the sun
To fix what I've done
Save the world from myself
And bring back the sun
Never look small, but don't get too large
You gotta let go, or you won't stay in charge
Everything's fine, but nothing's really okay
It's all messed up, it's better that way
You gotta let go, or you won't stay in charge
Everything's fine, but nothing's really okay
It's all messed up, it's better that way
Can I clear my conscience
If I'm different from the rest
Do I have to run and hide?
I never said that I want this
This burden came to me
And it's made it's home inside
If I'm different from the rest
Do I have to run and hide?
I never said that I want this
This burden came to me
And it's made it's home inside
You don't justify the means
In the service of an end
Smashing laws to smithereens
Till there aren't any rules left to break or mend
In the service of an end
Smashing laws to smithereens
Till there aren't any rules left to break or mend
Still it don't mater if you won't listen
If you won't let them follow you
You just need to heal
Make good all your lies
Move on and don't look behind
If you won't let them follow you
You just need to heal
Make good all your lies
Move on and don't look behind
Lay me down in the bed that I made
Starved for sleep by the shrill serenade
Singing over and over
You die by what you live by
Starved for sleep by the shrill serenade
Singing over and over
You die by what you live by
This is the moment
My final test
Destiny beckoned
I never reckoned second best
My final test
Destiny beckoned
I never reckoned second best
Now I'm having trouble differentiating between what I
Want and what I need to make me happy
So instead of thinking, I just act before I have a chance to
Contemplate the consequence of action
Want and what I need to make me happy
So instead of thinking, I just act before I have a chance to
Contemplate the consequence of action
She's been a thorn in my side
And can run, but can't hide
We're fast approaching the Witching Hour
And settling score is my routine
And can run, but can't hide
We're fast approaching the Witching Hour
And settling score is my routine
One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Too much, too much to mention
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Dig beneath the surface
Find the lessons there to learn
And then dig deeper
Feed your intuition
Don't leave any stone unturned
Find the lessons there to learn
And then dig deeper
Feed your intuition
Don't leave any stone unturned
'Cause I'll breathe
When they try to suffocate me
Don't you underestimate me
'Cause I know that I won't go speechless
When they try to suffocate me
Don't you underestimate me
'Cause I know that I won't go speechless
Where do I even start
To pick it up when it's falling apart?
Where do I even start?
Why does it seem so hard?
To pick it up when it's falling apart?
Where do I even start?
Why does it seem so hard?
Atonement is a sacrifice of pride
Explaination of why you did what you did or said what you said
Will not vindicate you
If the cost to heal someone is only your pride then apologise
And be grateful that you recieved peace at such a bargain
Explaination of why you did what you did or said what you said
Will not vindicate you
If the cost to heal someone is only your pride then apologise
And be grateful that you recieved peace at such a bargain
And I still taste that sickness
And it makes me crazy without it at best
But I'm in the same place I used to be
But I'm trying harder not to be
And it makes me crazy without it at best
But I'm in the same place I used to be
But I'm trying harder not to be
When things got hard I lost control
I take it back with all my soul
Here in this hell it's sinking in
The slice of heaven I was living in
I take it back with all my soul
Here in this hell it's sinking in
The slice of heaven I was living in
How can I try to explain?
'Cause when I do he turns away again
It's always been the same, same old story
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen
'Cause when I do he turns away again
It's always been the same, same old story
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen
For all of the light that I shut out
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years
As fleeting as a shadow
The time goes by unnoticed
The hate that drove me forward
Is gone and I am face to face with
The man I used to be
The time goes by unnoticed
The hate that drove me forward
Is gone and I am face to face with
The man I used to be
You're falling farther than
I've ever seen you fall before
For me to wonder when
I'll recognize you anymore
I've ever seen you fall before
For me to wonder when
I'll recognize you anymore
Which seems right in a way
But I'm trying to say... I'm not sure
But I'm wondering inside my head
I'm not just a bit different from some of my friends
These answers that come into my mind unbidden
But I'm trying to say... I'm not sure
But I'm wondering inside my head
I'm not just a bit different from some of my friends
These answers that come into my mind unbidden
And I was eccentric, all grand plans and inventions
That I would've just thrown away
By listening, she let me have something to say
What good's a dreamer without a believer?
We all just need someone to care
That I would've just thrown away
By listening, she let me have something to say
What good's a dreamer without a believer?
We all just need someone to care
Well there is no such thing as you
It doesn't matter what you do
The more you try to qualify
The more it all will pass you by
It doesn't matter what you do
The more you try to qualify
The more it all will pass you by
We'll begin with a spin
Traveling in a world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy explanation
Traveling in a world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy explanation
Have I make you proud
Will I ever know
How white is the snow
Does is matter after all
Will I ever know
How white is the snow
Does is matter after all
Nobody cares
It's win or lose, not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
It's win or lose, not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
The thin thread that held you - how did it come untied?
The grace you only ran from
The bridges that you burned
The peace of mind you learned to live without
The grace you only ran from
The bridges that you burned
The peace of mind you learned to live without
In the small hours I realize what I have done
I held the hand that threw the stone that killed the bird that woke the city
I held the hand that threw the stone that killed the bird that woke the city and
I could not feel the flower in my hand
I could not feel the cracks beneath my feet and black holes in the sand
I held the hand that threw the stone that killed the bird that woke the city
I held the hand that threw the stone that killed the bird that woke the city and
I could not feel the flower in my hand
I could not feel the cracks beneath my feet and black holes in the sand
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for
You can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for
You can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
But I swear with all your burnt bridges
You could leech what's caustic and find
A rudimentary lye
Some kinda miraculous bind
You could leech what's caustic and find
A rudimentary lye
Some kinda miraculous bind
It's getting dark in this heart of mine
We're born with millions
Of little lights shining in the dark
And they show us the way
One lights up, every time you feel love in your heart
One dies when it moves away
We're born with millions
Of little lights shining in the dark
And they show us the way
One lights up, every time you feel love in your heart
One dies when it moves away
And no one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
Sometimes the ones we love the most
Have the worst things to hide
Sometimes the monsters
Turn out to be those
Who stood there by your side
Have the worst things to hide
Sometimes the monsters
Turn out to be those
Who stood there by your side
Wait don't go away, can I lie here forever?
You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?
The universe works in mysterious ways
But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?
The universe works in mysterious ways
But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
Code by Yuff