...I'm sorry. It's- it's pretty good at hitting where it'll hurt the most.
[This town knows exactly how to find their most painful wounds and tear them wide open again. He's had it happen to him more times than he cares to count these days. Sometimes, he thinks it's on purpose- Mother Superior trying to force them to snap, to turn on one another. It wouldn't be the first time she did that. He still remembers July. He'll always remember July.
If Varian took the time to think about how many moving parts there are to this sad little group he'd be just as surprised. As is, he's still doing a lot of tunnel vision in that area. He's still trying to come to terms with the Grass Demon- Paimon is just another slide of demon problems to deal with. The knowledge that Maul had something to do it makes his stomach twists in uncomfortable knots. ]
Maul again? He's just- oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't know Maul was involved. [It's another in a growing collection of marks against the man. Varian's well past tolerating it now. Every time he thinks he's hit the limit of what Maul has done to people here, he learns something new and awful.] What did he do?
[Varian can understand wanting one normal thing. It was definitely what he was aiming for with prom before everything went to hell. He'd one decent night out with Fern and it went wrong. It's not something he blames Peter for, not even in the slightest.]
You shouldn't have to cut out the happy moments in your own life because you've got... him in your head. That's- that's not fair. You're still entitled to your own life, if you can think and feel for yourself. Giving up everything is like... I don't know, letting him win. Letting him control you, you know? When do you get to be just Peter? Just live Peter's life?
[It's hard to take Paimon's side even a little. Even if the demon hadn't sliced far too close to Varian's self-worth issues, he'd still struggle. It's why he struggles with the Grass Demon, too. He can't help but think about Zhan Tiri, her nasty, insidious ways of pulling strings and moving people around like chess pieces. ]
...It wasn't stupid to do that. You shouldn't have to worry about that all the time.
no subject
[This town knows exactly how to find their most painful wounds and tear them wide open again. He's had it happen to him more times than he cares to count these days. Sometimes, he thinks it's on purpose- Mother Superior trying to force them to snap, to turn on one another. It wouldn't be the first time she did that. He still remembers July. He'll always remember July.
If Varian took the time to think about how many moving parts there are to this sad little group he'd be just as surprised. As is, he's still doing a lot of tunnel vision in that area. He's still trying to come to terms with the Grass Demon- Paimon is just another slide of demon problems to deal with. The knowledge that Maul had something to do it makes his stomach twists in uncomfortable knots. ]
Maul again? He's just- oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't know Maul was involved. [It's another in a growing collection of marks against the man. Varian's well past tolerating it now. Every time he thinks he's hit the limit of what Maul has done to people here, he learns something new and awful.] What did he do?
[Varian can understand wanting one normal thing. It was definitely what he was aiming for with prom before everything went to hell. He'd one decent night out with Fern and it went wrong. It's not something he blames Peter for, not even in the slightest.]
You shouldn't have to cut out the happy moments in your own life because you've got... him in your head. That's- that's not fair. You're still entitled to your own life, if you can think and feel for yourself. Giving up everything is like... I don't know, letting him win. Letting him control you, you know? When do you get to be just Peter? Just live Peter's life?
[It's hard to take Paimon's side even a little. Even if the demon hadn't sliced far too close to Varian's self-worth issues, he'd still struggle. It's why he struggles with the Grass Demon, too. He can't help but think about Zhan Tiri, her nasty, insidious ways of pulling strings and moving people around like chess pieces. ]
...It wasn't stupid to do that. You shouldn't have to worry about that all the time.