[He wants to believe what Varian is saying, he really does, and he tries his hardest to shut the doubt that's threatening the calm he's managed to reach. He's just himself, that's all. Jon was wrong.]

... Right.

[His hands are shaking, though, and he's going to start trying to scrape the blood off his one hand and onto the tree branch.]

I - after I stabbed him, Glitch showed up. He wasn't doing anything - he was trying to help.

[Those memories loop through his brain like a bad film, all the fear and aggression, and Fern finds his hands are shaking harder.]

All he was doing was helping, and I stabbed him, too. He's probably dead in an alley somewhere because of me...!