[About the only thing Fern hears out of all of that is we're together. The rest is just that buzz again, this time accompanied by what feels like his metaphorical guts twisting themselves into a knot. It's more painful than a lot of the injuries he ever suffered as Finn.
He doesn't bother saying anything to Varian. His sword retreats back into his hand, so that he has bother of them free to rub against the tears forming in his eyes.]
Even when I know I'm doing the right thing I fail. I'm just a huge loser.
[That's... really the conclusion he can make here. He says all the right things, he does all the right things, he even feels all the right things, for once, and at the end of the day nothing changes. That was the closest he felt to being normal in years, and he couldn't even manage it. He's still a failure, still a screw-up, still a loser who can't do anything right.]
no subject
He doesn't bother saying anything to Varian. His sword retreats back into his hand, so that he has bother of them free to rub against the tears forming in his eyes.]
Even when I know I'm doing the right thing I fail. I'm just a huge loser.
[That's... really the conclusion he can make here. He says all the right things, he does all the right things, he even feels all the right things, for once, and at the end of the day nothing changes. That was the closest he felt to being normal in years, and he couldn't even manage it. He's still a failure, still a screw-up, still a loser who can't do anything right.]
I was better off as swords.