laminae: (okay)
Fern ([personal profile] laminae) wrote in [personal profile] droptheious 2020-05-06 05:42 pm (UTC)

[A reasonable person would understand this, that this whole idea of friendship with Varian being a competition is total nonsense. That that isn't how friendship in general works.

But that isn't how Fern's mind works. Every mention of Ruby being a good person feels like a stab against him, reinforcement that he isn't like that, and can never hope to be that kind of person again. He isn't anywhere near as good as she is, and that's why Varian listens to her over him.

There's a ranking. Varian is either just lying or in denial, and whether or not it's malicious doesn't matter. It still hurts, just like it does when he reads the continued texts. 'You're not the first person to turn their back on me.'

That draws up a sick feeling in him, like he's abandoning Varian. But he isn't, right? Varian's the one who is wrong here. Varian is the one who doesn't care.

He keeps repeating that thought in his mind, but his hands are still shaking as he types up a response.]


fine
you can believe whatever you want too
i've got nothing else to say to you

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