[He feels marginally better for regulating his breathing again, finding the tiniest measure of calm. And he knows what Jun is saying makes sense. Neither of them would have left him get hurt, and no doubt would have beaten themselves up just as bad as he's doing to himself now if they had. ]
...I know. I know they were looking out for me... like, like we're supposed to there.
[ Meropide is a little family, and it stands to reason they would look out for each other. He can't feel bad that they stepped in to save him when he was in need. Were the situations reversed, he'd do the same.
He looks up sharply as Jun brings up his hypocrisy. His mouth opens to argue, to say that this was different, that the person who killed him wasn't in his right mind... but then, neither was he when he attacked Maxima and Ana. It's not an argument that has a single leg to stand on. His mouth closes again, and he turns his attention to glare a hole into the table. God fucking damnit. They've already well established that he sees Jun very clearly- for all his faults and all the darkness he turns in on himself. He'd managed to miss the fact that in the process, Jun sees him, too. ]
...They contacted me, actually.
[Said quietly, sulkily. Confirming Jun's assumption without actually saying it. He lets out a haggard sigh. ]
I'm not... good at that. [ He absently runs the fingers of his free hand on the tabletop. ] Giving myself grace. I think... there's still a little part of me that doesn't feel like I deserve it.
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...I know. I know they were looking out for me... like, like we're supposed to there.
[ Meropide is a little family, and it stands to reason they would look out for each other. He can't feel bad that they stepped in to save him when he was in need. Were the situations reversed, he'd do the same.
He looks up sharply as Jun brings up his hypocrisy. His mouth opens to argue, to say that this was different, that the person who killed him wasn't in his right mind... but then, neither was he when he attacked Maxima and Ana. It's not an argument that has a single leg to stand on. His mouth closes again, and he turns his attention to glare a hole into the table. God fucking damnit. They've already well established that he sees Jun very clearly- for all his faults and all the darkness he turns in on himself. He'd managed to miss the fact that in the process, Jun sees him, too. ]
...They contacted me, actually.
[Said quietly, sulkily. Confirming Jun's assumption without actually saying it. He lets out a haggard sigh. ]
I'm not... good at that. [ He absently runs the fingers of his free hand on the tabletop. ] Giving myself grace. I think... there's still a little part of me that doesn't feel like I deserve it.