[The rub on his back grounds him, gives him a great amount of comfort. He smiles gently, taking a seat.]
No kidding? I haven't really spoken to him a lot, he always seems... so angry.
[Which, coming from Varian is really saying something. He sits forward in his chair, reaching out so her can take Jun's hand as he speaks, absently playing with his partner's fingers. He does want Jun to be more open about his feelings, even if he thinks they're bad ones (especially then, honestly) and he's glad his boyfriend is opening up about them now.]
That's understandable. Last month was... a lot. And you were powerless for the vast majority of it. [Unaware, even. ] But this time? You could do something about it. You could fight and defend your home, your friends... me. It makes sense that would feel good.
[ He pulls Jun's hand to his mouth, pressing a few small kisses to his knuckles. He sees that guilty puppy look, he sees it only too well. ]
...You're so much more than Krusnik or the Orden ever wanted you to be, but there's still nothing wrong with enjoying what you've been trained to be good at. It might have... really terrible beginings, but you can use what you've got from them for what you want now. And you're allowed to be... to be happy with that freedom. It would never change the fact that you're more than that now. It's a part of you either way... what matters is what you use it for.
no subject
No kidding? I haven't really spoken to him a lot, he always seems... so angry.
[Which, coming from Varian is really saying something. He sits forward in his chair, reaching out so her can take Jun's hand as he speaks, absently playing with his partner's fingers. He does want Jun to be more open about his feelings, even if he thinks they're bad ones (especially then, honestly) and he's glad his boyfriend is opening up about them now.]
That's understandable. Last month was... a lot. And you were powerless for the vast majority of it. [Unaware, even. ] But this time? You could do something about it. You could fight and defend your home, your friends... me. It makes sense that would feel good.
[ He pulls Jun's hand to his mouth, pressing a few small kisses to his knuckles. He sees that guilty puppy look, he sees it only too well. ]
...You're so much more than Krusnik or the Orden ever wanted you to be, but there's still nothing wrong with enjoying what you've been trained to be good at. It might have... really terrible beginings, but you can use what you've got from them for what you want now. And you're allowed to be... to be happy with that freedom. It would never change the fact that you're more than that now. It's a part of you either way... what matters is what you use it for.