[He notices that scaling of his hand and once again quirks his eyebrow a little more. What's that supposed to mean Varian???]

I mean, it's not like I'm beating myself up every night about it. [That's... something? But he frowns a little, because he knows what Varian's saying is hitting a deeper thread than just one little incident. There's a long pause as he tries to figure out how to word it all.] ... It's complicated. The first half of my life I was raised to be a weapon, and then the second half of my life my dad taught me to be a pacifist and try to blend in with human society. So even if logically I know something's a accident... getting my feelings to believe that is another matter.

[God he hopes that makes sense, since he's not that good at understanding his feelings, much less vocalizing them. He's worked on it in therapy, but he knows he's a long way off from nailing it.

But... he considers that, before nodding. Thats true. Varian's never backed down from an argument in his entire life. Of course he'd share his opinion. His shoulders relax a little, he hadn't realized how tense they are]

...Yeah, it does help. [He nods] Maybe some phrase so I don't confuse it with our normal banter?