[For a moment, Jun felt relief. Relief that he could bring solace to someone he cared so much about. Varian was a good person. He's seen that time and time again through the past few years. Sure, he's made some mistakes... but the work he's done to make up for those mistakes completely outweighed that. And really, so many of those mistakes were caused out of circumstances rather than a wicked heart.
But then, Varian keeps talking, and something heavier starts to settle in his heart. Guilt. Here was Varian, regretting so many his past actions and trying so hard to be a better man. Talking like Jun was the pious one. Meanwhile, here he was...
"Because the Jun you are now matters to me"
He looks away from Varian again, the guilt getting too hard to overlook. He can't keep up this charade. Varian was trying so hard to be a better person, he can't... not tell him anything. ]
... You're right, there's stuff I can't tell anyone. There's secrets I must take with me to the grave. But... [He clasps his hands together, shaking his head] If we're speaking of fairness, then it's only fair I warn you.
[He swallows]
Seal Knights... we're not heroes. I mean, I want to protect this city just like everyone else, but... my pact is to "do what needs to be done". Which... what needs to be done isn't always good.
Like... the mission's over now, so remember when Teresa stabbed me? [...] Truth is, I wasn't so much an innocent bystander as I made myself out to be. Teresa wasn't listening to reason. I knew it was a matter of time before things turned violent. And I also knew there was an assassin who had their eyes on her, waiting for a moral justification to strike. An assassin with a soft spot for me.
So. I decided to give them the justification they needed. I provoked Teresa on purpose, telling her things I knew would make her snap and attack me. Then, I made sure the assassin knew of the attack, saying things that I knew would drive them to act. They still have no idea I got hurt on purpose.
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But then, Varian keeps talking, and something heavier starts to settle in his heart. Guilt. Here was Varian, regretting so many his past actions and trying so hard to be a better man. Talking like Jun was the pious one. Meanwhile, here he was...
"Because the Jun you are now matters to me"
He looks away from Varian again, the guilt getting too hard to overlook. He can't keep up this charade. Varian was trying so hard to be a better person, he can't... not tell him anything. ]
... You're right, there's stuff I can't tell anyone. There's secrets I must take with me to the grave. But... [He clasps his hands together, shaking his head] If we're speaking of fairness, then it's only fair I warn you.
[He swallows]
Seal Knights... we're not heroes. I mean, I want to protect this city just like everyone else, but... my pact is to "do what needs to be done". Which... what needs to be done isn't always good.
Like... the mission's over now, so remember when Teresa stabbed me? [...] Truth is, I wasn't so much an innocent bystander as I made myself out to be. Teresa wasn't listening to reason. I knew it was a matter of time before things turned violent. And I also knew there was an assassin who had their eyes on her, waiting for a moral justification to strike. An assassin with a soft spot for me.
So. I decided to give them the justification they needed. I provoked Teresa on purpose, telling her things I knew would make her snap and attack me. Then, I made sure the assassin knew of the attack, saying things that I knew would drive them to act. They still have no idea I got hurt on purpose.
[....]
That's the Jun I am now.