[ Varian is glad for the water, taking it with a quiet "thanks". It's a long story, and Varian doesn't normally talk himself so much in one sitting. But it was one that had to be told, and now all he can do is sip his water and wait while Jun digests all that. He tries to push his nerves down as best he can - he doesn't feel like Jun is the sort of person who would take all of that badly, but it's still a lot.
Turns out, he didn't need to be worried at all. He should have known it would be fine, but it still takes him a little by surprise. He's come a long way from how deep his self-loading used to be, these days he can accept that he's allowed to be happy. But considering himself undamaged enough to be happy with someone else - to be someone that someone else could be happy with in turn? That had settled uneasy on his shoulders since Fern left.]
...That's- that's a way to look at it I've never thought before. [ Jun was right, he really could stand to hear it.] Thank you. That- that means more than I can say. [ He rubs the back of his head.] Honestly, for a while I kinda just thought I was a lost cause. So that makes me feel a little... less like that. [He offers Jun a little smile.] I didn't realise how much I needed to hear that.
[ It's a huge weight off. Maybe a year ago, he wouldn't have believed Jun. Fought against this idea that he was worth... anything. That he was a better person than who he used to be. But at least now he can accept the sentiment for what it is, and be comforted by it.]
Of course. I wanted you to know. It felt... fair. [He didn't want to spring this on Jun further down the line. Not with feelings getting involved. That could have ended up... messy.] Uh- not to say I expect you to share like... everything, too. I know there's things you can't talk about, and that's okay. I get that. Because the Jun you are now matters to me, too.
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Turns out, he didn't need to be worried at all. He should have known it would be fine, but it still takes him a little by surprise. He's come a long way from how deep his self-loading used to be, these days he can accept that he's allowed to be happy. But considering himself undamaged enough to be happy with someone else - to be someone that someone else could be happy with in turn? That had settled uneasy on his shoulders since Fern left.]
...That's- that's a way to look at it I've never thought before. [ Jun was right, he really could stand to hear it.] Thank you. That- that means more than I can say. [ He rubs the back of his head.] Honestly, for a while I kinda just thought I was a lost cause. So that makes me feel a little... less like that. [He offers Jun a little smile.] I didn't realise how much I needed to hear that.
[ It's a huge weight off. Maybe a year ago, he wouldn't have believed Jun. Fought against this idea that he was worth... anything. That he was a better person than who he used to be. But at least now he can accept the sentiment for what it is, and be comforted by it.]
Of course. I wanted you to know. It felt... fair. [He didn't want to spring this on Jun further down the line. Not with feelings getting involved. That could have ended up... messy.] Uh- not to say I expect you to share like... everything, too. I know there's things you can't talk about, and that's okay. I get that. Because the Jun you are now matters to me, too.